The Bottom Line

Okay, it’s high time we get a little cheeky and talk bum. More specifically, my bum, and how important it is for my backside to look damn fine from any vantage point. And let’s be honest, we’re all the same, aren’t we? We want people to appreciate our very best asset as we nonchalantly walk into the sunset. Until not so long ago, I didn’t spend that many hours thinking about my backside. Sure, I wanted great-fitting jeans but I didn’t bother much about how my posterior looked in shorts, slim skirts or fitted pants. Visible panty lines? Never gave them a second thought. But now, all of a sudden (and don’t ask me why), I care. A lot. I’ve starting to feel self-conscious about those little tell-tale creases and bulges that delineate the territory claimed by the underwear I am wearing. By Jove, shouldn’t a girl’s knickers remain anonymous?



So now I worry about VPLs, those pesky visible panty lines that my mother never had the decency to sit down and tell me about.

One friend has confided that she tolerates VPLs on the weekend but never ever during the week. Really? Yes, indeed. For this lovely chick, only the crew at her office gets to enjoy the view of her backside at its very smoothest. (This particular friend didn’t request anonymity, but I think it’s best for her sake given the controversial nature of her statement, wouldn’t you agree?)

And so let’s get to the bottom of the issue at hand here: given that VPLs are such a dire predicament for so many of us, how is one to avoid them? Going commando is an option. Then, there’s the great panty vs thong debate.

I myself am a good ol’ fashioned panty girl; I like a cute and cuddly panty that lovingly hugs my bunbuns. That being said, legions of you ladies out there are thong birds, singing the praises of the thong, tanga, g-string, butt floss, whatever you call it. Another friend, who shall remain anonymous, declared that she wouldn’t let any kind of thong near her precious parts for fear of the hungry bum syndrome. Hungry bum? I had to google it: for all intents and purposes, it’s one bad-assed wedgie and not something to be messed with. My. My. This is stirring the underwear pot, isn’t it? Friends, need we divide to conquer the curse of the VPLs?



What do you prefer: panty or thong? Join the discussion on our Facebook page.

You can bet your bottom dollar that this isn’t the last you’ve heard of this debate.